Supporting someone in distress

Infoforwellbeing
National
Tap each title to expand. Work through each section in numerical order

1. Active listening with people who are worried or distressed

Active listening is even more important
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Show you care: really focus on the person, make eye contact, put away your phone

  • Dont talk about yourself at all
  • How are you feeling today?
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Have patience: it may take time and even several attempts before the person is ready to open up

  • Trust and safety is all
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Open questions

  • 'Tell me more...'
  • Provide a space to pause, think and reflect
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Have COURAGE: don't be put off by a negative response or feel you need to fill a silence
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Many people are not sure if they should talk about their worries

  • Who to ask?
  • How to discuss them?
  • When to discuss them?
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We need to notice but not push

  • Notice when people are worried or concerned
  • Avoid pushing people to talk about things they don't want to discuss

2. Demonstrate calmness

Keep speech volume normal: not raise or too quiet​. Talk in a normal tone to show that you don’t feel threatened, angry or shocked​

  • This will show respect and care for the person

Be assertive:​

  • Understand the situation that the person is in​
  • Control your own personal emotions and stay calm​
  • Use the right body language​
  • Use the right words and statements​

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 Silhouette of a person showing ways which we can use our body to demonstrate calmness including Relaxed Forehead, Head tilted at slight angle (not face to face), Relaxed shoulders, Relaxed posture, Arms by side, Low muscle tension, Open hands, Closed mouth, Relaxed face, Varied gaze, Varied eye contact.

3. Alleviate a person's distress

Row 1 Left to right Image 1 of 6 Person sitting cross legged. Point 1 of 6 Stay calm​ Image 2 of 6 Person behind a screen. Point 2 of 6 Be assertive​ Row 2 Left to right Image 3 of 6 Speech bubble and ear. Point 3 of 6 Use active listening skills​ Image 4 of 6 Happy, sad, angry and neutral emojis. Point 4 of 6 Create the right emotions and atmosphere​ Image 5 of 6 Person with their arms folded. Point 5 of 6 Be aware of your own body language​ Image 6 of 6 Person with a speech bubble. Point 6 of 6 Use supportive verbal language.

4. Remember that you are NOT a counsellor, therapist or medical practitioner

You can use good communication skills and genuine empathy to enable a person to express how they feel about what is causing them worry or distress AND how to find out about addressing it​

NEVER probe a person to talk about more than they want to because this can cause extreme distress if not handled by trained experts 

5. Adapt to a person's situation

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Stay with them and continue to communicate with empathy​

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Leave them alone for a while to have a cup of tea or watch TV to an hour or so​

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Suggested that they pop/phone in tomorrow or next week to have another chat and proactively suggest a time​

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Call for assistance if you are​

  • Concerned about the person and/or​
  • You’re concerned about your ability to offer support

6. Workbook exercise (1)

Workbook exercise Workbook Exercise

Workbook exercise (1)

Think about an occasion when  you have supported a person who was distressed.​ How did you feel about the immediate support you gave?

Think about:​

  • Acceptance​
  • Trust & genuineness​
  • Empathy​
  • Establishing rapport​
  • Active listening​

How did you adapt your support to reflect these five key elements? 

Reflect on your support to the person:​

  • How did you know what they needed?​
  • Do you feel that your support made a difference to that person?

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